Dove of Peace graphic
| Asocial vs. Antisocial Violence
Here is a table showing differences between asocial and antisocial violence. It is a guide to differentiating between them. Ideally, read Handling & Understanding Violence first.
|TFT Hand Book p.10
||Lethal, unaffected by social skills, requires decisive action*
||Avoidable, survivable, can be
solved using social skills*
|Do you feel it appropriate
to put your thumb into his eyeball?
|If you had a gun and
could get to it in time,
would you shoot/empty gun into the threat?
|Do you find
“should I hit him?” (TFT
Hand Book pp.12-13)
|No - you do not ask
because there is
no time for internal
|Yes - you ask because
the use of violence is iffy
|Typical reaction of nearby
[although, in a prison, inmates may watch and study asocial violence, as it so central to their everyday life]
|Varies. People can gather
round to video it and
see the outcome
(e.g. playground fight) -
or even join in.
|Threat (SSA p.33)
||Clear threat to life
serious threat to body.
Imminent grievous bodily harm.
|Various scenarios often
ego, status, pride, respect;
but can also be for 'fun'...
|After the event
||“I am lucky to be alive”
“Thank God I am alive”
|“I am so tough/badass/manly”
|3 Day Test
3 days after the event you chose to use violence in, you find yourself
either dead or in jail, will you still think that your choice was worth
"Yes" [as you were devoid of choice]
||Destruction. Seeing similarities rather than differences (e.g. we both have eyeballs that are equally weak).
Competition/Duelling, where the bigger, faster, stronger, more skilled prevail
is only the term for courts
after the event].
- To avoid
participating in your own murder etc.
status, machismo, attract women, even enjoyment or addiction
and methodical; intent to injure; always identifies with successful use of
|Tough, macho, posturing
|Blank, even bored - as there is no emotion or social message to send
||Angry, intimidating -
designed to get you to back down, but may hide fear
squaring off (after verbal escalation)
Length of Violence
(seconds). Movies often give a false impression of lengthy fights.
|Brawls can last minutes
|Women vs. Men
||When women meet
it is usually asocial
|When men meet
it can be antisocial or asocial
|Use of Social
and other social tools are useless. Asocial violence is often silent, it is
But certain scenarios like rape
may allow words to be useful,
as an offensive strategy.
|Social tools like
talking** can be used to handle the situation.
Even acting like a wimp or coward
can allow avoidance of antisocial violence.
* In many real life situations the opposite of this happens. When confronted with asocial violence, people will try to talk/reason/plead their way out of it. When confronted with antisocial
violence, men especially get involved in a fight (where there is a risk
of accidental death of you or the other person, and ensuing legal
complications and prison), rather than deescalating it with talk, avoiding it.
Talking in Antisocial Violence: De-escalate. Placate with passive or
submissive gestures and words. Expressions might include
“Sorry”, “My bad”,
“You’re the boss”,
“You’re right”, “No problems”,
“You’re the man”, "I agree, I won't do it again",
In certain situations (e.g.
riot), the use of “I’m about to vomit” with retching
sounds and actions may
help deflect aggression.
Talk your way out of it! Survival - not ego - is what matters.
Sources are mainly TFT (course, books, audio, video; SSA = Secrets for Staying Alive When Rules Don't Apply; WVITA = When Violence Is the Answer). Also elsewhere including Geoff Thompson (Dead or Alive: The Choice is Yours) and my own thoughts which may not accurately reflect the understanding of TFT.