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An ancient statue of a mother or carer with arms around two young children. The faces are not sculpted in detail. Attachment Parenting
Attacked


I am noticing that parenting 'experts' are sowing doubts about attachment parenting. That it is merely one amongst many ways or fads. I am here to argue that it is the Way, the Truth. It is a system of Love.
Anyone casting doubt on it is an enemy of Love. This can be due to arrogance, ignorance or for evil (e.g. to make money, promote patriarchy). Just like Big Tobacco and Big Fossil Fuels have sown doubt and confusion about their hellishness, attachment parenting is another big life issue where doubt and lies are being propagated for nefarious ends.
It is only the past 10-100 years that all these other parenting fads have proliferated. They cause confusion and doubt. Everything is exploited for likes or $$$$ or political ends. How ignorant we are. Meanwhile Nature quietly shows the Way.

Attachment parenting is not simply an idea, a fad, a theory, a parenting guru's brainchild. It is a gift from Mother Nature. It is a system or tool used for hundreds of thousands or millions of years that's allowed humans to survive and thrive. It is comparable to a long-established technology like the brain. Its historical evidence goes beyond history into the depths of pre-history.
At the time that the cruel scientist Harry Harlow discovered some of these truths, it was thought that babies feel no pain. Human understanding of the importance of prenatal and perinatal life, as well as spiritual life continues to be so tiny.

So, why do these modern parenting 'experts' attack the Way of Nature?
So, why are these modern parenting 'experts' claiming to understand so much more than Nature?
  1. They do not understand Barry Commoner's Third Law of Ecology: 'Nature knows best. Humankind has fashioned technology to improve upon nature, but such change in a natural system is, says Commoner, "likely to be detrimental to that system".' So, any interference in the ways of nature by humans usually is bad.
  2. It is arrogance. It is ignorance. It is small-minded greed - for fame, for money, for power.
An African mother is tending to the village's crops whilst wearing her baby on her back in a blanket.
Meeting the needs of the child, whilst centralising community life

Then there is the misunderstanding of what attachment parenting is.
  • Attachment parenting seems to be confused with child-centred parenting. No! As the Continuum Concept explains, it is more about meeting their needs whilst also fulfilling a natural, spiritual community life. The child is more a passenger.
  • In the example below, it is claimed that it is about creating a perpetual bond between mother and child. No! It is about creating a foundation of Love. From that foundation, the child confidently can be independent and courageous - knowing that Love is always there. After the foundation comes other paths that complete the construction. But the creation falls down quickly without the foundation.
Meanwhile, modern parenting 'experts' claim that there is a better way than (note that the following bullets use sarcasm):-
  • Vaginal Birth. NO! Cesareans for all, it will be so easy. Big Business will make $$$$.
  • Breastfeeding. NO! Lab 'breastmilk' or Formula for everyone, it will be so freeing and healthy. Big Business will make $$$$.
  • Early skin-to-skin contact, like Babywearing. NO! Cots [aka Prisons], Prams & Tech - it will be so independence-forming and peaceful. Big Business will make $$$$.
  • Co-Sleeping. NO! Sleep Training will teach the little fuckers some toughness. Let them cry it out. No chance of lifelong trauma! Big Business will make $$$$.
  • Village. NO! Modern civilisation is so great with its nuclear families, its pandemic of loneliness. The elite will exploit this and make $$$$.
A group of San from southern Africa. They are happily squatting on the ground, exchanging smiles and joy. They are of all ages, from old, to baby.
Attachment Parenting is not a fad. It has worked for aeons.

Example

This is Josh Cohen, a psychoanalyst, writing in The Guardian (posted 31 December 2022, accessed 2 January 2023) on how to be a good parent:

'The entire parenting industry claims to know the answer to this, feeding the fantasy that you can get parenting right. These gurus insist they alone know what is good, and that any alternative approach is bad for your child. Possibilities and anxieties proliferate.
The popularity of attachment parenting has spread the idea that maintaining a perpetual bond between mother and child is the way to avoid the trauma of separation. That this is what it means to be a good parent. But growth itself is traumatic. Development involves becoming a separate person, and that’s traumatic: anyone who claims you can short-circuit that is a glorified snake oil salesman.'


Here are my comments:-
  • Attachment parenting (AP) is not part of the parenting industry.
  • Nature has got parenting right for millenia or millions of years. It is only in the past centuries when we are totally screwing with Nature's ways that the extinction of humans is possible. The Birth and Perinatal Emergency shows how modern humans and their parenting and lifestyles have got it so wrong. Return to Nature or go extinct.
  • AP is not about a 'perpetual bond' to the mother. It is about a foundation of Love from which the youngling can confidently take part in the world. The bond is to Mother Earth, to Love. Without this Love bond we die off. Perhaps paradoxically this natural and deep bonding creates greater self-esteem and independence. Meanwhile modern parenting produces the independence that is better described as toxic masculinity or psychopathy or slavery to the dysfunctional system.
  • Growth doesn't have to be traumatic. The claim that growth must be traumatic is bullshit.
  • AP reduces any trauma associated with being in utero, birth, postpartum, early life.
  • There is never complete separation. We are always reliant on so many things in Nature: Sun, water, air, Earth. A separate person is an illusion. What we want is a person both firmly attached to Nature and Spirit, as well as able to act boldly whilst thus attached.
Summary
In this dysfunctional world that is so anti-nature, do as many of the attachment parenting principles as possible. Do your best. Honour instinct and intuition.
Modern parenting still needs to learn the ways of Heaven and Earth...

A graphic of a thatched shelter under a sun or full moon. It is dawn, dusk or night.
Honour Heaven and Earth

Also see:-

Attachment Parenting

Attachment Parenting articles

Natural Family Living

Breastfeeding Attacked


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Page last updated: 9 January 2023.