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Self-Worth Identity graphic

You cannot fail at being yourself. A cat doesn't try to be a tiger, and you shouldn't try to be something you aren't. You are a process, not a product. Your job is to discover what you are and create that creature. You still won't be perfect, but success isn't about perfection - it is about authenticity. You are a success if you are being your real, authentic self. (Bernie Siegel, MD)

Act as if you are the person you want to be. (Bernie Siegel, MD)

One's attitude towards oneself is the single most important factor in healing and staying well. (Bernie Siegel, MD)

It’s like the cliché “Just be yourself”. You know I’ve learned that being myself isn’t like a light switch. It’s something that has to be allowed to emerge, and it can be cultivated over time with the right kind of support. (Robert MacNaughton, dated 2015, accessed 11 July 2016, video 10m33s)

Cultivate Self-Worth

Faced with some failures, you might feel discouraged to the point that you tell yourself, ‘I am incompetent, weak and stupid.’ Very well, you may well be all that, but it is dangerous for you to dwell on it. When you experience states of this kind, show that you still have a little intelligence and make efforts to think, ‘All right, I may not amount to much, but there is a world of rich, beautiful, and wise beings, and I am going to unite with them by means of thought in order to benefit from their qualities and virtues.’ I assure you that this will help you.
Also, try to recall all the wonderful moments of peace, light, and inspiration that you have already experienced, for you have experienced at least some. And since you have experienced them, they cannot be wiped out. Cling to those moments, and little by little, courage and faith will return to you. (O.M. Aïvanhov)


Failure is an invention of modern education and a primarily competitive culture (vs. a primarily co-operative culture)
[see #8 & #2 here].
David DeAngelo calls failure an illusion, a static man-made concept - and very destructive when linked to self-worth. It needs to be eliminated.
Perhaps this is what Yoda alludes to when he says, "Do. Or do not. There is no try."
If you love it and just do it, you never fail, you can continue forever (even if it is in your imagination).
Also, if you must live with success and failure, link your self-worth to things where you have most control over the result. Bob Dorris talks of this, where:-



Also, if you must live with success and failure, especially link your self-worth to things where you have most control over the result. 
  • Goals that involve others or competing with others are therefore least advised (e.g. "I must date that woman/man or else I am pathetic", or "I must get my black belt or else I am useless").
  • Goals that are personal performance goals, where you compete with yourself to improve your previous performances, are better but still open to failure (e.g. "I will learn more moves and thus feel worthy", but you may forget a whole lot too, so this may not help).
  • Goals that are process-oriented, where you are practising without the need for any result. Here you almost have complete control. It is prioritised as a lifestyle. Again, this is like Yoda's advice (e.g. "I practise my martial art and this is sufficient to make me feel worthy"). 
  • Finally, there can be the state of having no goals. This is not being a loser or drop-out. Rather this is a positive state, willingly doing that which you have to do (e.g. "I am doing this because I feel I must, but whatever happens I know it will not impact my self-worth"). 'The wise man strives to no goals but the foolish man fetters himself' (Sengcan in Xinxin Ming or Hsin Hsin Ming).
You, too, are a winged being, whether or not you know it. Enfold what seems dark with your wings of light, and harmony will always prevail. This is Nature's promise to us all. (Ann Napier)

Just remember that you can have many goals involving others - like I have with this website - but that the success or not of my website does not dictate my self-worth! What matters to my self-worth is that I felt that I loved, like a Sun.

Self-Worth Sun

Be kind to yourself...
You may look around at your 'more successful' friends and family and feel inadequate, especially if you're looking at their social media. Social media is a lie!
Everyone presents their most polished selves and hides their insecurities, so remember, you're not the only person in the world with doubts and worries. As the saying goes, 'Don't compare your insides with other people's outsides.'
Everyone feels bad sometimes, but feeling bad doesn't mean you actually are useless.
You're way stronger than you think. (BBC, posted and accessed 2 May 2018)

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You. (Dr. Seuss)

It doesn’t matter what other people think about you. It’s what you think about yourself. And you should do the same thing I do and look at yourself in the mirror and say empowering words about yourself. It helps a lot. You should be like, “I’m smart, special, creative”. Don’t let, really, don’t let the words people say about you get to your head. Don’t let them get to your head - at all. (Kheris Rogers, age 11, role model for dark complexion, BBC, 1m37s, posted and accessed 10 August 2018)

Resources:-
Also see:-

Self-Love

Who Am I?

Who Am I? Quotes



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