Handling &
Understanding Violence
Handling &
Understanding Violence
| Home | Natural Family Living | Big Life Issues | Animal- Human- Angel |
Culture of Love | Solar Culture | Spirituality | Emotion |
Contact Bruce About PWP Links Photo Credits:- Three Spirals (Clker-Free-Vector- Images, Pixabay; used six times) Water Fight (rudyanderson, Pixabay) Confrontation (Wadams, Pixabay) Asocial Violence cartoon (OpenClipart- Vectors, Pixabay) Coloured Ball (geralt, Pixabay) Coloured Ball (geralt, Pixabay) |
Handling
& Understanding Violence  Wikipedia (citing World Health Organization, 2002, accessed 21 October 2013) defines violence as: "the
intentional use of physical force or power, threatened or actual,
against oneself, another person, or against a group or community, which
either results in or has a high likelihood of resulting in injury,
death, psychological harm, maldevelopment, or deprivation."
You might find it useful to break down violence into three types:- Social Violence. This includes: play fights with your children, martial arts and contact sports, war games, some computer and board games. Children might say "you're dead and out-of-the-game". All sorts of sports from chess to MMA use warlike terminology, like "destroying" their opponent. Victory is achieved through the battle. A strange thing is that social violence can reinforce antisocial and asocial violence. Computer games are used to train soldiers to kill, to overcome the instinct to co-operate. It desensitises us to violence. It can facilitate antisocial and asocial violence. So, even though some may argue that social violence is not violence - as per the initial definition - there can be a connection. Social violence is best used in moderation, especially the more intense types. Aim for it to serve Goodness. Make sure you have a large amount of co-operative activity in your life, too! And a High Ideal such as Peace and/or Love.  Antisocial Violence. This includes: drunks harrassing you, alpha male behaviour, macho posturing, etc. The basic action needed at a personal level is avoid it, leave it, get security/police [if they are supportive] to handle it. Chris Ranck-Buhr says it clearly: "I refuse to kill or die for a social slight, a barstool, a parking space, my car, cell phone, or what’s in my pocket. I’ll risk a life for a life, but everything else is bullshit." If necessary talk your way out by apologising - and then leave. Even bouncers say eight out of ten nightclub incidents can be talked through (Ian Quigley, Blackpool Bouncer, quoted on ITV programme ‘Bouncers’). Remember: "The simple avoidance of fighting and the consequent saving of your body from physical harm is a victory." (Renzo Gracie & John Danaher, Mastering Jujitsu, p.213) If you feel inclined to 'teach someone a lesson' with violence, notice the impulse, take some deep breaths, and move on. If not already doing so, perhaps discipline your impulses by learning a martial art. Also read 'Violence & Common Sense'. The basic action needed at a socio-cultural level is change, e.g. sexism and bullying must become unacceptable. There are some grey areas here.* You may choose to enter the potentially antisocial realm, such as being involved in important protests or in the defence of human rights (e.g. speaking up for a harassed woman). Silence = Violence; read more at 'No Thank You'. But generally avoid it.  * Here is Tim Larkin (TFT SourceBook, 8th Edition, pp.10-11): Violence Isn't Always The
Answer...
Using violence to solve problems is like using dynamite to open your car door. It'll do the job, but will cause a whole heap of other problems. Fighting has nothing to do with communication. It's not part of the negotiations that form the vast bulk of personal interaction. It's the last resort... when communication isn't an option... and it's hit or be hit. Violence is what you use the minute you feel threatened. If it's possible to talk your way out of a difficult situation, that should be your first choice. Often, an aggressive person will put on a show to dominate without actually resorting to violence. They'll make themselves look bigger, scream obscenities or issue threats. Sometimes, they're just trying to intimidate in the hope that you'll back down. Sometimes they're psyching themselves up for violence. You'll have to decide and act if you feel there's a real threat. Once you decide to act... act immediately! If you don't believe a problem can be solved with language and diplomacy, say nothing. Don't look them in the eye or engage in conversation. When you enter into a conversation with a threatening person, you enter a gray zone in which it's much harder to disengage and strike the first blow. Leave if you wish to and if you can. Fighting isn't always the answer, but when it is the answer, it's the only answer. Fight when you have no other choice, and once you begin fighting... fight to win. Asocial Violence. This is unavoidable violence. This includes: unprovoked attacks, where you fear for your life or serious bodily harm. Either you use violence or it gets done to you. It cannot be handled with social tools - you can't talk your way out of it. The basic action is the use of the tool of violence, such as Target Focus Training (TFT) - see here.  The distinction between antisocial and asocial violence is not well understood. TFT had an excellent three-part explanation: Social Confrontation vs Asocial Violence. The links to these are now broken and so they have been reproduced here. Also see here. Social confrontation is avoidable - it can be solved using social skills. Asocial violence is lethal, unaffected by social skills, and requires decisive action. However, people tend to solve it the wrong way around and use violence in antisocial scenarios, and try and talk their way out of asocial situations. Predicting human violence is a valuable skill in avoiding both antisocial and asocial violence. This is about listening to and enhancing our innate and ancient intuition.  Summing up, suggested for humanity - to understand and handle violence - is a multiple approach:-
 Resources
|
Also see:- Violence articles No Thank You |
| Top of Page | Contact Bruce |