Grief

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Grieving Man (veggiegretz, Morguefile)

Grief

A 'signal to the organism that ongoing behaviour should be interrupted to take account of a conflicting goal... Sadness during bereavement... can be seen as having the function of initiating readjustment of the life goals that included the lost one. If the association was a close one, this period of reassessing or reforming goals could be lengthy.' (Mackintosh, B. (2006) 'Emotion' in SD226 Book 6: Emotions and Mind, 2nd edn, Milton Keynes, The Open University, p.72)
Loss of control over a source of love or attention. (Paul Solomon)
Behaviour that is in response to a loss of something pleasureful or nutrient. (Robert Plutchik - see here, accessed 27 October 2017) Adaptive behaviour = Reintegration.
Question to self: How must I adjust my life to the loss?
Similar emotions: Sadness, Sorrow.
Opposite emotions: Happiness.

Bach Flower Remedies: Star of Bethlehem [calming after death/tragedy], Honeysuckle [living in the past].
California Flower Essences: Borage [heart balm for grief], Yerba Santa [deeply repressed grief, afflicts heart/lung area]. They also have a Grief Relief spray [here, here].

Quotes

A main function for sadness is to help adjust to a significant loss, such as the death of someone close or a major disappointment. Sadness brings a drop in energy and enthusiasm for life’s activities, particularly diversions and pleasures, and, as it deepens and approaches depression, slows the body’s metabolism. This introspective withdrawal creates the opportunity to mourn a loss or frustrated hope, grasp its consequences for one’s life, and, as energy returns, plan new beginnings. This loss of energy may well have kept saddened and – and vulnerable – early humans close to home, where they were safer. (Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, p.7)

And I felt like my heart had been so thoroughly and irreparably broken that there could be no real joy again, that at best there might eventually be a little contentment. Everyone wanted me to get help and rejoin life, pick up the pieces and move on, and I tried to, I wanted to, but I just had to lie in the mud with my arms wrapped around myself, eyes closed, grieving, until I didn’t have to anymore.
(Anne Lamott, Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year)

Death is one of the most severe social events that can happen in a social species. (Dr Edwin van Leeuwen, quoted at BBC Earth, undated, accessed 10 August 2025)

If grief is something we see in highly social animals, and most often seen in individuals with close social bonds, this ultimately tells us a great deal about how mourning is an evolved response to “coming to terms with the idea of loss” as Dr Gonzalvo puts it. Intelligent animals and humans need time to process it. Or, in layman’s terms: grief is the price we pay for love. (Zoe Cormier, BBC Earth, undated, accessed 10 August 2025)

Resources

Attitude to the Dead (PWP).
Death & Time - Time & Models of Grief (PWP).
On Mourning (PWP).
Support after someone may have died of suicide: SOBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide); Help is at Hand (NHS PDF, 2014?).
The truth about animal grief (Zoe Cormier, BBC Earth, undated) [Many animals feel it. Grief is the price we pay for love.].
Why grief is not something you have to 'get over' (BBC, 2018).
That Discomfort You're Feeling Is Grief (Scott Berinato, Harvard Business Review, 2020).

This is part of a series on Emotion

Also see:-

Attitude to the Dead

On Mourning

Time & Models
of Grief

Emotion

Emotion Index

Death & Immortality

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