Loneliness

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Loneliness

Aloneness or 'alone time' has many benefits, can be a deliberate choice, and most of us need it (e.g., see here). On the other hand, Loneliness may be felt even when surrounded by many people.
"Loneliness is the most terrible poverty." (Mother Teresa)
Placing responsibility for my happiness on someone else. (Paul Solomon)
Questions to self: Is it time for Self-Love? Is it time to get more social? How connected am I to Great Spirit?
Similar emotions: Rejection.
Opposite emotions: Unity.

Bach Flower Remedies: Heather [trying to escape loneliness by excessive talking and getting sympathy from others].
California Flower Essences: Mallow [overcoming social barriers], Bleeding Heart [lonely when relationship has ended, or when needs not met within an emotional relationship], Sweet Pea [helps establish community roots], Forget-Me-Not [connection to spiritual beings and your Higher Self], Echinacea [feel utterly alone].

Quotes

Loneliness is an evolutionary signal telling us something is not right with your social environment, and you need to do something about it, fast.
(John Cacioppo, cited by Robin Dunbar in The Guardian, posted and accessed 24 March 2021)

There's a common belief that when I find the right person, my loneliness will be over, my life will be full and fulfilled... But loneliness is not just being alone. Actually, it is completely psychological, a deficiency of the Spirit. It can only be corrected when we overcome that deficiency. Loneliness comes not because we haven't found the right friend, but because we haven't found ourselves. So, before we can do much about forming a relationship with another person, we must first of all form a good relationship with ourselves.
(Eric Butterworth, 'Forming Relationships & The Healing of Hurt' audio tape, side one, 2m17s)

The feeling of loneliness is one of the most terrible forms of suffering that human beings can experience. Each of us needs to find someone with whom we can share our thoughts, feelings, and aspirations, someone with whom we can exchange harmoniously every day. This ideal being is obviously very difficult to find, and many books have explained the pain, anguish and feeling of abandonment experienced by men and women when they are unable to find what some have called their soul mate!
But, in reality, the human soul can only be filled permanently and completely by God. If you wish to feel that you are not alone every day, that you are surrounded by beings who love and understand you, and that you yourself are filled with a great presence of joy and light, you must unite with God and his manifestations, which are wisdom, love and truth. For God himself is love, wisdom and truth. And for the person who places love in their heart, wisdom in their head, and truth in their will, solitude no longer exists. (O.M. Aïvanhov)

Resources

Susan Pinker: why face-to-face contact matters in our digital age (The Guardian, 2015).
John Cacioppo: ‘Loneliness is like an iceberg – it goes deeper than we can see’ (The Guardian, 2016) [The view of a social neuroscientist].
Loneliness: The cost of the 'last taboo' (BBC, 2017).
The surprising benefits of being a loner (BBC, 2019).
The social biome: how to build nourishing friendships – and banish loneliness (The Guardian, 2021).
Marie-Louise von Franz: "You have to be lonely, so that the unconscious can become stronger" (The Jungian Aion, YouTube, 2025) [Otherwise people distract you. 2m14s video.].

This is part of a series on Emotion

Also see:-

Emotion

Emotion Index

Self-Love

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